And she turns 5!!!

I still remember vividly when my husband held his niece, the just born baby, in his hands 5 years ago. What a moment it was to see a life which has come to this world only a few seconds back! Ever since It has been a joy to see her grow from a baby to a girl.

Last weekend we celebrated her birthday with all the pomp and show. How happy she was to be surrounded by friends. One particular act of hers during the party really was thought provoking. One child complained of not getting chocolates and the next moment she spits out the chocolate in her mouth and gives it to her friend. How unconditionally she shared! A lesson we need to learn from this little being. Day in and day out in her small acts we have seen divinity. Of course not to forget the element of naughtiness too. :)

With every year passing by we are struck with awe at the little things she expresses. The affection and love she pours on us is unimaginable. How she would enact Krishna stories and make us role play. There are numerous such memories – the little games she plays everyday, the chattering, the work of art she does with her tiny hands, the way she recites hymns, her dancing, her singing, her laughter and the list goes on. The way she runs to us with her arms spread out for a hug makes my heart melt even today!

God Bless this adorable angel! And we are delighted and proud to have her in our lives.

Are we really Free?

Indian Independence day is round the corner. And we have been as a country been independent since 1947. But what does freedom or independence mean to a country. Does is it mean that we are not ruled but have a democratic government that operates this country? What is freedom in true sense for a nation, for a person?

We are bound by so many aspects of life that we are not able to taste the nectar of freedom even though we are not ruled by a king. To be honest I don’t think I’m free in a true sense. I’m bound by what my family thinks, what my friends think, what this society thinks. Isn’t everyone following this norm. Are we really going beyond the cliché. or is it just me who is in a web of others opinion?

I have seen some of my friends proving themselves so that others don’t think that they are dumb! If so much thinking just goes in pleasing how are we going to be free?

Freedom doesn’t mean you are in a free environment, a free country or you belong to a family with folks who are broad-minded. Freedom is a state of mind. You are free the moment you take the decision to be free – without changing anything around.

Born not to judge

As I begin this post, it makes me think – is the mother more unconditional or the child? Yes, I understand the mother has to sacrifice so much of herself in bringing up a child. But isn’t the child more unconditional than the mother?

I remember a few days after my son was born, he  started looking at me and smiling. What an experience. No, not even a high resolution SLR camera can ever capture that expression or emotion. I felt like a cow- fat, struggling to lose weight, unkempt, no semblance of dressing up and yet I have this marvellous being who just smiled at me.

Everyone around only talked about how to reduce, get back to original form etc. I looked nothing less than ugly with no grooming, but he did smile at me. Even now, one and a half years later whatever state I’m in my son would pounce on me with so much affection, kiss me, hug me tight, bite me, demonstrate his love in every possible way. He never sees how beautiful I am, what work I’m doing, how intelligent I am, what I am even feeding him. For that matter these are not the parameters that he judges anyone on this earth with.

So as beings God created us to be non-judgemental. Then from when did we really start to pick that tendency to judge people? We weren’t born with this trait. How did we acquire this? We judge everyone under the sun, including our kids, spouse, parents, in laws, relatives, friends, foes, anyone walking on the road, anyone you hear across the bay speaking while at work….

I think the day we unlearn being judgemental, we will be more at peace – very much like a baby!

Shades of grey

Life can never ever be black and white. Your decisions can’t be just right or wrong. There’s always a grey hue. Your principles and environment you have been exposed to are behind your decisions. Next time you criticize anyone’s decision live their life first and then talk about it -which is simply impossible. So better not criticize. No you can’t even imagine being in their shoes and claim your right to being critical!

Feeling blessed and grateful! :)

It is so wonderful to be among relatives. Even better if its a function specially for your parents. Dad’s Bheemaratha shanti (done at the start of 70th year) happened as wonderfully as it could. All the relatives, well wishers and friends are what we are. Our life revolves around them. I’m happiest when I’m with my loved ones. Its true for anyone I believe.

You feel so connected with your family. There’s no bliss or sense of security higher than being part of that big extended family, the family that cares for what you care, folks who understand you inside out, the cousins whom you can rejoice the moment you see them, the elders who are always doting and treat you as a baby for the lifetime, friends who always stand by your side. We can never experience true happiness without this connectedness.

Thanks to all who were able to make it for Bheemaratha Shanti and also to those who were not able to come -I’m sure they would have had a compelling reason for not coming and would have had their heart and soul in the event.

When we met after 17 years

I think I’m obsessed with reconnecting with friends – especially childhood friends. Thanks to the social media and more because of whatsapp. I try my best not to lose a single opportunity to connect face to face with old time friends. The joy of seeing a classmate after 17 full years is the awesomest (stole this word from the character Barney of HIMYM :)) thing to do on earth! One needs to experience it. We started chatting as if we have been seeing daily. I don’t know if even the proverbial started from where we left applies here. It felt like we never stopped to even start again. We were revisiting our classrooms. Talking about other classmates.. giggling about the sweet teen crushes. It never felt like we are meeting after so long!

Ok this was a threesome meet- Lakshmi, Satya and me. Have been speaking to Satya and have also met her a couple of times since a few months now. But Lakshmi as I said earlier met after just 3 years short of two decades. I have always known Lakshmi as a very kind person. There’s something in her which makes anybody under the sun comfortable connecting. Laskhmi had planned her vacation with her two adorable boys to Bangalore to visit her parents. Her parents’ house is quite close to my workplace. Her father who is so concerned and protective about his daughter-literally dropped her at the venue. I really admired him for that! The venue was a food court near my office. Lakshmi arrived and called me. I sprinted down to see her.

We talked about us, about our husbands, about our kids and many more things… After a while Satya joined us. A chirpy girl who is never devoid of enthusiasm. She is a friend who is always there the listen and help. She too lives in Bangalore not very far from my house. My connection with Satya has blossomed in last few weeks… Its nice to have a good friend in the same city. Though we may not meet often, but just the thought that we are reachable is quite comforting.

We kept on chatting over lunch. Don’t remember how the food tasted though! After all we were busy sharing our life stories. And the thought which Lakshmi expresses had a profound reality- You can’t talk the way you talk to school friends with anyone else. With no hesitation you can share anything under the sun. No inhibition, no second thought whether to express or not to express…no pretension.

I’m gearing up to meet one of my BFF this month end and I’m sure our rendezvous  will be as memorable as ever!

Let Go…

What is it that you would want to let go? You may say everything you right now own or have is just yours. where does the need to let go really come. Hold on. Take a peak into yourself. Here we are not talking about your bank balance or the car or the house that is registered in your name and other numerous commodity that you own. Once you take a look inside you would know that letting go these material physical possession is far far easier than letting go what you would find when you closely watch your mind, your thoughts, your emotion.

Yes that’s what you need to let go… unwanted thoughts, emotions that don’t take you anywhere, relationships that drain you out, so called knowledge that is there only to boost your ego. I’m sure everyone will have atleast a few items here…In fact the list will go on and on. As I write I’m myself overwhelmed by the never ending list of what I need to just drop.

But why is there a discomfort to move on? When you cannot possess the thought or emotion in the true sense. Can we really move on or drop a thought? What exactly is a thought? Something that is passing. Is there a way you can really hold on to it. You can’t hold on to the original thought its just the reflection of what already passed your mind. Am I making sense here. You cannot nurture the thought you cannot nurture what has already gone. You can either talk about space or time not both together. So if you say I have this thought it has already passed. Its an illusion that we are holding on to it. So what really you need to let go is the tendency to replay something that has already occurred.

If our true state is being just happy, being in bliss then what meaning does anger, misery, jealousy, or any vice really have. Isn’t that we are in illusion when we say I’m angry? How can you be angry when you are happiness. How can you be disappointed when in the core there’s just happiness and contentment.

So again what emotions are we letting go? It is just this illusion that we need to let go for the happiness to surface. To live king size we have to stop being a beggar- begging for acceptance from others, begging for love and attention from others. How much we depend on relationship to experience this happiness. If this is what it is then how do you let go. Just the realization of this very fact will vanish the need for letting go. The wish that was there has no meaning any more. You feel so relaxed in tune with yourself so light when you know all this is just a façade and the reality is not this. Then what exactly is the reality? Where is the happiness? Go inwards and one day for sure you will find what it is!